“…Martha welcomed them into her home. Her sister Mary sat on the floor, listening to Jesus as he talked. But Martha was the jittery type, and was worrying over the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Sir, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” But the Lord said to her, “Martha, dear friend, you are so upset over all these details. There is really only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it – and I won’t take that away from her!” (Luke 11: 38-42)
I am a Martha…..I actually make a really good Martha.
My weakness is a sense of productivity. The thrill of the swish mark next to an item on my to-do list. I preach the values of time management, goals, priorities, routines, habits as if they are the path to salvation.
Being purposeful with our resources – including time – is not within itself a bad thing. Where I cross the line into being a full-blown Martha is when my craving for productivity and order becomes my top priority. While I view my gifts as God given, I also recognize my human weakness in getting things out of order in my life. Striving to have some Mary in me, I realize I desperately need quiet time. As a Mama Bear of 6 kids, quiet time is a rare commodity.
This morning my alarm went off at 5am so I could get ready, sneak downstairs, and cherish my quiet time before starting to bake breakfast. Time to soak in and reflect on the daily readings! A special time when Jesus and I can have some one-on-one time that is not interrupted every 3rd word by a member of the small army I created, and that ultimately ends in “Dear Jesus, please give me patience!”
As I snuggled up on the couch with our dog, Rocket, and the daily readings I heard the familiar shuffle of early morning footsteps. I admit, joy was not my first response. Standing in the dark was Peter, ready to be up for the day. I coaxed him into sitting on the couch with me while I prayed. What ensued was an endless wiggle, wiggle, wiggle. Peter is 11 years old, he has Down syndrome, and his biggest challenge in speech. Despite multiple speech disorders, he loves to talk to me with the words he has. Often repeating the same phrases over and over with much enthusiasm.
This morning was no different. Shoving his face in the Rocket’s face he had to tell me three times that he got licked – each and every time. I prayed through it. Then he spotted a block which he insisted I hold. I prayed through it. Then he spotted a toy car that I too must hold onto as a prized possession. I prayed through it. Then came his favorited stuffed animal – a homely chihuahua doll gifted to him many years ago by a dear lady at school. My mind still focused – I was determined to pray through the doll being shoved in my face and Rocket’s face followed by enthusiastic commentary about wet licks. Finally I said, “Peter! Please sit still and quiet for just a few minutes!”
A-ha!
I heard Jesus. I heard Jesus chuckling like crazy!
In my world where I strive to have some Mary time, I realize I am a Peter. Why? My mind, not my body, wiggles its way through the readings – unable to be still and listen. I wiggle out a word or phrase to read, ponder, and pray on. I vow to focus on it during the day, only to have my memory fail me as it wiggles right out of my mind. Knowing that my rare commodity of quiet time is coming to an end, I buckle down with the focus of my Type A personality. I enthusiastically use my few precious last words to let Jesus know how I really, really, really need his help…..and then list off all the ways followed by, “…and please give me the wisdom to know YOUR will in my life”. I then pray for the mind, body and soul of my children and their future spouses and children. Worried that “we” might forget friends, family, neighbors that are going through challenges – I list those off and remind Jesus of what is going on. Not to give the impression that I’m focused only on those close to me, because that would be selfish, “we” move into issues in our community, nation, and world that really need some divine intervention. Knowing that my time is rapidly coming to an end as I hear alarms start going off, I gratefully sign off with big thank you’s for the blessings in my life – all the big and small ones that I honestly don’t ever want to take for granted….including running water and plumbing.
See it?
Sitting with Jesus I moved from a Martha to a Peter but failed to reach a Mary state. I failed to LISTEN! Gone are the days, actually 4 kids ago, when I would almost daily light candles and meditate and journal. Nope, I realized this morning that I did an awful lot of disjointed talking and very little listening.
Now, lets be honest……I’m not alone, am I? I am certain that on our rock in space with billions of people, I am not alone in this struggle.
Now, before we aim for an extreme makeover from Martha to Mary lets remember that Jesus never said that Martha’s role of service was unimportant or wrong. This would have gone against his other teachings. What Jesus was saying is that being a disciple, listening to his voice, and learning from him are more important. Lets be honest – without Martha in this story there would have been a lot of hungry men hanging out in a messy house waiting for dinner that wasn’t coming!
What does Martha look like today?
I believe Martha has a heart for hospitality. She genuinely invites Jesus into her home and her heart. She feels called to serve. She is a busy lady! She works hard every day to get up early, get things ready for the family, maintain a home worthy of guests, prepare healthy meals for her family, keep up with schedules and all the forms that go with school and sports, etc. Lets not forget getting doctor and dentist appointments scheduled. And for the Martha with a child with special needs tack on therapies, services, insurance, and so much more. Martha must also maintain health in her marriage, and peace with her extended family. Martha can juggle things like no one else!
Martha has a little voice inside her head that tells her she doesn’t do enough – maybe even that she is not enough. “Martha, if you just do more you might be enough” followed by the anxieties and comparisons exacerbated by social media.
In this midst of the messiness of life, Martha tries to keep the end in sight. And sometimes that end may be collapsing in bed at a decent time. Martha knows Jesus has blessed her in so many ways – and between all the push and pull of every day life, she squeezes Jesus in where she can.
And that, my Mama Bears, is where the Martha in us needs a nudge. A gentle reminder that we should put Jesus first, not squeeeeeeeeze him in. That is where the end in sight should be Heaven, not a comfy bed at the end of a long day.
Does Martha need an extreme makeover?
No! Martha needs to stop trying to do it all, and make just one different choice. The choice to put Jesus first! When we remember who is our true compass in life, he will help us prioritize our days so that we will serve where we are truly needed. Where we will end each day with the peace of knowing we did the right things as opposed to a lot of things or not enough things.
Here are some simple changes to help us.
- Have the heart of a disciple. It all starts with a simple yet challenging, “Come follow me” (Matthew 4:19)
- Start the day with prayer. Praying for the courage and wisdom to reorder the priorities in our life, and the grace to do this every day. God is our one true compass, we must let Him define our direction.
- Listen to the voice of our Good Shepherd. The voice of the Good Shepherd will nourish our souls, it is not in the voice that says, “you aren’t enough….”
- Recognize your gifts and use them wisely. “God has given each of you some special abilities; be sure to use them to help each other, passing on to others God’s may kinds of blessings…..Do it all with all the strength and energy that God supplies, so that God will be glorified through Jesus Christ – to him be glory and power forever and ever. Amen.” (1 Peter 4:10-11)
My fellow Mama Bears with a dash, a sprinkle, or a generous serving of Martha – keep rocking your Martha-ness with your focus on Him!
xoxo
Catherine